Monday, April 28, 2008


I just wrote my very own LOL-curriculum vitae today, after being asked to describe my person in one 'longer' sentence. Or what I'm actually doing. Or whatever.
WTF people? You talked to me any longer than 5 min and actually imagine I could describe my life in ONE fucking phrase? LOL. Srsly.

The 50 most relevant facts about Esther Schneeweisz, randomly ordered:

Fact #01: Also known as: Astera / tgfkae (the girl formerly known as Esther) / Miss Snowwhite / Marzipanreeh / esc / Okapi / sweets.
Fact #02: Berliner-by-choice. At least for 50% of the year.
Fact #03: Founder of Team Dirty Chai, a.k.a. TDC, hashtagged #tdcag on Twitter. Taking care of press coverage, story-building, and a Flickr appreciation group.
Fact #04: Creator of several not-so-very wide-spread internet memes, and explaining them by conversions to mathematical formulas.
Fact #05: Never tested biological weapons on fellow teammates. Pretty constantly rickrolling them though, partly by accident.
Fact #06: Industrial designer stuck at the University of Applied Arts Vienna.
Fact #07: Working about 16 hours a day as a troublemaker and -shooter in only one person.
Fact #08: Start-up marketing consultant.
Fact #09: Account manager at a young & dynamic advertising and design agency.
Fact #10: Working on the Soviet Unterzoegersdorf Sector II adventure game (and several other projects for Monochrom).
Fact #11: Addicted to design, tech and aesthetics in general.
Fact #12: Photoshop wizard.
Fact #13: Geeky games concept consultant.
Fact #14: The personified feedback.
Fact #15: Part of the Metalab documentation e1337e.
Fact #16: Part time stylist.
Fact #17: Part-of-part time blogger.
Fact #18: Obsessed with language.
Fact #19: The one and only Suicide Girl riding a golden single speed racer.
Fact #20: Giving vegan cupcake baking workshops.
Fact #21: Involved in waaay too many projects.
Fact #22: Former assistant at the UoAA, institute for design; and studio manager of Kabiljo, Inc.
Fact #23: Has worked on various talks, exhibitions and fashion shows.
Fact #24: Said to be 'the super human motivator. Without black magic'.
Fact #25: Heavy conference crasher.
Fact #26: Currently aiming to incorporate sex, sheepy fluffiness and heavy alcoholic drinks to a robot engineering project.
Fact #27: Still working on an Apple-z life hack. Asked to invent motivation-out-of-the-bottle right afterwards.
Fact #28: Ruby coding n00b.
Fact #29: Easily gathering fancrowds, as, for example, Bunnie the Chumby hacker guy.
Fact #30: Feels attracted by nerds and geeks. Naturally, that is.
Fact #31: Is dating via Twitter only.
Fact #32: Was trying hardest to make peeps think she's emo. Epically failed.
Fact #33: Insulting the one human being on earth she's officially not a fan of by perpetually calling him sensitive.
Fact #34: Addicted to caffeine, as to be found in Club Mate, straight coffee and dirty soy chai mainly.
Fact #35: Can make one hell of a dirty chai latte.
Fact #36: Claims not to have a sleeping disorder, but being trapped in the wrong time zone.
Fact #37: Just about to replace her soul with caffeine and become immortal.
Fact #38: Has found a way to actively dream of ninja games against morphing super-evil killers and fighting them while flying.
Fact #39: Loves lock picking as a substitute for dumbing down with television.
Fact #40: Vinyl collector & 'weird' music addict.
Fact #41: Collector of sick tattoo ideas.
Fact #42: Has the skin tone of Pantone 475 c.
Fact #43: Was told never to have babies. Wouldn't even think about that being an option, anyway.
Fact #44: Said to be a postmodernist. Not confirmed. Yet.
Fact #45: Funnily and/or oddly enough, she's proud of being a geek while getting most het up when being called an artist.
Fact #46: Little Miss cynic herself.
Fact #47: Extreme skills in being cryptic in terms of all communication matters.
Fact #48: Makes noises.
Fact #49: Definitely not able to put her life into one single phrase, no matter in how many characters.
Fact #50: Won the internet on March 10th, 2008 01:49 am.

Monday, April 21, 2008

OMG, meh wantz!!!

Since most of you may've already heard, the amazing Portishead are just about to release their 3rd studio album (finally!), called Third.

You can check out some of the most notable reviews via the album's Wikipedia page links, or google them on blogsearch, so there's not really a need for me to elaborate on it.

The only thing I'm saying is:
It's awesome. Seriously.
I heart it.

Therefore, I provide you with a Mediafire d/l-link to the album even prior to its release - of course not to pirate it, but to give the whole thing a listen & agree with me that Third is one of the best albums to be released (so far) this year!
So if you like it, go buy it.

Also, talking about going crazy for records: There's a preorder for the Third limited edition box set, yay!

If ever I wished to put something on a wishlist - this box would definitely be on the very top of it! <3
Unfortunately, my birthday's only in late October, so I may not find someone to give a present like that to me...

Besides, I posted the YouTube video of Machine Gun, the - already released - 12" single featured on Third, on my brand new account - with which I'm pretty much in love with (the song as well as soup, that is).

In other, completely unrelated news:
I just can't fuckin wait to go back to Berlin for the ph-neutral in May!
And I'm even more excited about going to Los Angeles in early September, hanging out with the most lovely folks/friends/geeks/nerds (who are just about building a new hacker space called LAspace, woohoo!), flying over to San Francisco for monochrom's Arse Elektronika at the end of the month.

Take care!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

As Hunger Rises

Via In These Times:

As Hunger Rises, Chew on This

By Terry J. Allen

A diet of bread and water used to be emblematic of poverty. Now a global food crisis is transforming that meager meal into a luxury for much of the world.

The prices of the world’s three main grains — corn, rice and wheat — more than doubled last year. The causes include poor harvests linked to climate change, diversion of cropland to biofuels, population increases, rising meat consumption, emerging diseases and soaring fuel prices.

In a globalized economy, issues of food scarcity and inflation should be a matter not only of humanitarian concern, but also of national security. A food crisis is exploding.

Another vast diversion of world grain is animal products. One pound of meat requires up to 40 pounds of grain input. Not only does the earth have more mouths to feed every second, but more of them are chewing meat as rising living standards in China and India make it affordable. China’s per capita meat consumption jumped from 44 pounds in 1980 to 110 pounds today — still half the U.S. average. According to the Sierra Club, “America could feed most of Africa with the grains we feed to livestock.”

Please go take a closer look at the full article over at In These Times.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

How to win the internetz

/b/ is the premordial soup -
and ceiling cat is its collective subconscious.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Dirty Tea Time

Repost from Vienna Metblogs

There’s a new event in town, or rather, a new movement - and it’s called Team Dirty Chai!

Well, kindest readership!
I have the honor to introduce to you what was brought to my ears - and lips - all the way from Los Angeles, CA (by Sean Bonner, to be accurate) last winter, and what changed my life by the means of my weekly habits and social interactions in the most joyful and enriching way possible - for a beverage, that is.

The dirty (soy) chai consists of the classic chai syrup (as to be found at your well-assorted coffee shop of trust), infused with hot (soy) milk (rumor has it, the soy makes it even more ‘muddy’; to me, it simply makes it more delicious: vegan, that is) and added with two shots of espresso - which makes it ‘dirty’.
And besides, being an addict, I should not forget to mention the excess of caffeine the dirtyness brings along with its super-awesome taste!

The Team Dirty Chai, also known as TDC, was founded back in calender week 07 in the year 2008 by Dave aka DaddyD (whom you will certainly know by the trail of his posts) and my most humble self, when twittering about running out of coffee in the still of the night. Although Dave - as so far everyone we’ve met - was rather bemused about the general idea of pouring coffee in one’s tea, after trying a dirty chai latte was proselytized immediately and finds himself now co-leading Team Dirty Chai, evangelizing our friends (from thereon to be called the TDC army) towards a better taste in caffeinated, muddy-liquid treats.

Our core team members include the following - as lovely as famous as down-to-the-dirty - folks: Kewagi, Angelol, Oneup, and Enkido, all of them admittedly geeks and/or nerds and/or ‘artists’ in some or the other way; but since the dirty chai meme spread rapidly amongst the Viennese Twitter league, the TDC army is still unstoppably growing, aiming to become the most notably alliance of 2008 a.d.

Read the full article on Metblogs, or visit the TDC appreciation group on Flickr!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

From Hamburg With Love

(dates back to 23/03/08)

Though I love Hamburg for its haven and that very special smell in the air (part drunken sailor, part dead fish), there's one epic, EPIC fail about this city: no wifi. Like, no-fuckin-where. Or at least everyone 'saves' them with a password, which is simply ridiculous in my eyes.

Therefore, I - by far! - wasn't able to get as much work done as I scheduled for myself.
Of course, this is nothing I could only complain about, since I met so many friends these days I wouldn't have given myself the time to otherwise. Also, I spent hours and hours at the Endless Pain tattoo convention, as well as walking the streets of Hamburg now that it finally stopped raining, hailing and snowing.
Yay for real life social interaction & getting dirty ;)

Also, I kept connection to the outer world via Twitter, a service I wonder how I ever could live without before now... and which is also partly implemented to a kinda 'urban hacking' game I'm very proud to be able to introduce to you, kindest readership, today:

Urban Takeover, developed (or rather, still in the process of being fixed) by the 72dpi army, makes you tag your city by putting up stickers on the urban environment and thus 'claiming' these objects/spots/streets/hot chicks/whatever. For every claimed spot the player (or team) gets points; also, there's some bonus for photographs taken, weirdest objects & spots, highscores, etc.
I guess the best way to get an idea what it's all about is to check out their site, the flickr group or the twitter account - and, of course, get involved =)

In other news, I got myself a bunch of new music (as usual), which I'd - at least partially - would like to share with you as soon as I'm back in Vienna again. Promise.
Or, if I can ever get hold of these in a digitalized form:

DJ Da Cut - Ostinato
DJ Spooky vs. Dave Lombardo
Peeping Tom - s/t
Kostnice - Finsterfelden
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black

Special thanks go to lovely & great video artist Kewagi and photographer Michi Inmann at this point, who drove my attention to Amy's album. Which goes perfectly along with a long late night of wine & cigarettes.

I'll be heading over to Berlin again at the end of the week & will report back from all the fun we'll most likely have there, the super-yummy food we may enjoy, and the re:publica.
Totally excited to meet some very gorgeous people there again!

Besides, it's only a couple of days until I get my next two tattoos - can't wait.
Yay for ink <3

Friday, March 14, 2008

A Dead Scene

Yesterday night I went to a show of the most awesome mathcore maniacs Dillinger Escape Plan (1.1/1.2b) - supported by hardcore doyens Poison the Well (2.1/2.2b) and the unbelievable jazzcore avantgardists Stolen Babies (3.1/3.2b/3.3) - and was simply blown away.

If ever they happen to crash into your town, go have a look.


Calculating Infinity
Irony Is a Dead Scene (feat. Mike Patton)

Stolen Babies

There Be Squabbles Ahead

Also, I want to introduce you to Urban Takeover - a super fun game developed by a bunch of amazing friends - which just recently had its alpha version launched ...

Go have a look at the instructions & be part of it!

Going Emo

I heart Mineral!

Originated in the mid-90ies from Austin, Texas, they had a heavy influence on subsequent emo and indie bands, especially during the late 1990ies in the Midwest of the States.
When they broke up in 1998, singer Christopher Simpson founded The Gloria Record, a band I can also warmly recommend to any emo-rock fan.

Check out their great music (which I upped on Mediafire as I promised, for your dearest convenience):

The power of failing (1997) + February (o my gosh, I love that song just so much) &
End Serenading (1998)

Take care!

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Tonight I passed the Heldenplatz in Vienna, and this is what hit my eyes:

Unfortunately, I only found articles about the 80.000 candle-light installation in german (as to be seen here in Die Presse, for instance) - but I think it's incredibly beautiful as a sight itself!

In other news, I haven't found much sleep within the last weeks; nor did I find enough time to spend on all the things I'd love to get done.
But I'm looking forward to going to Hamburg and Berlin the next weeks, meeting some awesome friends and artists I haven't seen in a while, and return all recharged on rest and motivation again.

Also, my life is pretty much turned upside down.
Which doesn't sound like news at all. Maybe I should've adapted to that situation by now ;)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

No Excuses

Dear folks,

I've been under super crazy deadline pressures the last days. My life is just about turning upside-down and I didn't even have the time to think about doing the aftermath of possible subsequent damages caused by continuous sleep deprivation.

I will most probably be back to 'normality' by Mon, 03-03-08 - until then, please wish me luck with my proposal for the MAK's Schindler scholarship program, an artistry in residence in Los Angeles, CA!

Now to the No Excuses part of this post:
A song to be found on the wonderful Jar of Flies EP by Alice in Chains, which (the EP of course, not the single song) I upped to Mediafire here for your d/l convenience =)

Take care,

Sunday, February 17, 2008


Finally, I brought my new Pro-Ject record player home yesterday after having it assembled by the folks at the House of HiFi Vienna.

Until then I hadn't worried about which color I'd like to go for, which slightly drove me into a bit of sudden hecticness at the store, so I twittered for help - not striking it lucky actually, since Twitter didn't forward any DMs in time...

See-sawing between glossy black and clinical white, I went for the second option (and turned out, most Twitterers would've done so, too) - and am more than happy with it!

After I arrived home VERY late, I decided on arranging and finetuning it in the morning... but when I woke up (on the floor, FTW?!?) at around half past 3 am again I just couldn't resist setting it up right away.
I still cannot believe how on earth I managed to practically live without listening to my beloved records for the last two months!

Also, I tried to keep myself from thinking of playing Mono's You Are There - but epically failed. Therefore distracted myself with Amon Tobin's Bloodstone EP (also, here's the links to their full-length album FOLEY ROOM - part one and part two via Mediafire -, my most favourite AT record ever! *love*).

Gosh. I'm a record junkie.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I've watched Mickipedia's Love viddie now for maybe a dozen times within the last months, and still I think this is one - if not THE - most lovely and amazing video I’ve ever seen:

And after all I think, maybe I’m in love with it.

Happy belated V-day everyone!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Yay, incoming again!

What yours truly found in the mail box yesterday (brought to its new home i.e. my CD rack by the Web of Mimicry):

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Of Natural History (2004)

I cannot recommend you this band warmly enough. My very, very favourite album of all times.
d/l from Rapidshare

Miasma & The Carousel Of Headless Horses
Perils (2005)

Another experimental art-rock project by Daniel O'Sullivan, who is also involved in Guapo, Aethenor, or Mothlite.
d/l from Mediafire

O'Sullivan btw makes me think of Stephen O'Malley in connection with Aethenor, whose - most awesome!! - bands/projects involve the following:
Sunn O)))
Burning Witch
Lotus Eaters
plus, of course, Aethenor

Two more albums which are totally worth listening, though not in my mail box this time:
1000% Downer + Return to Nothing (both 2004)
d/l from Megaupload

Also, experimental/drone/doom metal band Khanate again reminds me of James Plotkin, who worked on two other great projects within the last years, namely Atomsmasher and Phantomsmasher, which you should definitely check out if you happen get your hands on.

Additionally, I may provide you with these Khanate links:
d/l from Megaupload

Things Viral
d/l from Megaupload

It's cold when birds fall from the sky
d/l from Megaupload, again.

Futurist's Against The Ocean

The ambient-death-grindcore band's first full-lenfth album (following the split w/ Burning Witch), with a cover artwork assembled by Stephen O'Malley.
d/l from Megaupload

Saturday, February 9, 2008

I <3 music. I <3 people.

I thought it would be pretty nice to list some of the apps and stuff I use the most to d/l & share music...
For your, my kindest readers, convenience.
And for a wider musical horizon generally.
And just for the fuck of it, of course.

The Sordo Music Archive
The hugest easily accessible database of individually uploaded music links I got to know until now, and by far the most amiable.
Unfortunately, sometimes the site is down due to... well, you know... (l)awful issues. Whenever this happens, you may have a look at his blog. Actually, he's looking for donations right now, too, since the site shall be upgraded to a top-level domain shortly.
Visiting the site for the first time, you may have to enter the pass 'quack'.

Google blog search
There are so many great people somewhere outside there on the internets, providing the humble seeker daily with loads of albums they upload to sites like Mediafire, Megaupload, Rapidshare, et cetera. (Did I already mention I love people? Well, at least I love these.)

Google index search
Pretty much self-explanatory. You'll have to replace the word "band" with the band name you're looking for, naturally ;)

The Pirate Bay
Guess everyone already knows that one. Still, this wouldn't be a complete listing of my mostly used sites if I didn't put it on record.

Bunglefever ftp
Some wonderful guy I will be thankful to for the rest of my life brought together all kinds of recordings referring to Mike Patton, related projects and other MP-hardcorefan-interesting stuff on this server. Love it.

A Firefox extension (works under Firefox version 1.5 up to 3.0b2; unfortunately there's no updated add-on for the beta3 version yet...) that 'helps' you download mp3s and videos you shouldn't be able to otherwise. (Especially like to use it when I happen to catch a nice tune on Myspace that I'd like to listen to again.)

Simplify Media
A friend of mine (thank's again!) advised me to get this app to share my iTunes library with him only a few weeks ago... For now, not only my collegues and some friends installed it, too, but I discovered its wonderful convenience by actually sharing my own music with me - between the different computers I work on, that is. Simply. Great.

Plus, today I found these trousers somewhere under piles of stuff I'm trying hardest to tidy up and clear away these days in my appartment (which is just about to become a shared flat). Haven't seen - and therefore worn - them in years to be honest (shame on me), and I finally discovered I love them. Though they're pretty large.

Actually I'm only just posting that to use the 'randomness' label again, which I've ignominously neglected for the last weeks.
Good. Done.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


today I finally received this super awesome shipment by Relapse, which provides me with all my very favourite albums I had to let go of due to Role's & my parting issues - and therefore, the split of our record collection.

I'm so happy about having them again, I thought I might also share these links ;)

Mr. Bungle
Disco Volante

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Grand Opening And Closing
In Glorious Times

Sunn O))) & Boris
Altar, pt. 1
and pt. 2

Pink, pt. 1
and pt. 2

Wolf Eyes
Human Animal

Kayo Dot
Choirs of the Eye


Einstürzende Neubauten
Palast der Republik, pt. 1
and pt. 2

plus finally,
Wolverine Blues - which I shared with you already.

Have fun!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Fuckhead @ the Chelsea

The other night, I went to a show of the very gorgeous Fuckhead (see multiple links below, though unfortunately they're not yet to be found on Wikipedia), a band/project formed back in 1988, from Upper Austria. Right, it was their 20th anniversary - pretty unbelievable, but true! I've seen them like 7 to 10 times by now, and still, the fascination goes on.

So what is it all about?
Actually, Fuckhead is neither a band nor a performance group in any common sense... extreme, excessive, complex, theatrical, repulsive. And maybe only seeing them at a live show could really explain. But perhaps the YouTube viddy links I dared to post below may give a little bit of an insight.
In other words:
The new official diplomatic team of Austria - representing the beauty and modernity of people and land - performing the songs and the dances of this tiny sentimental nation of crashing folkloristic bores in an advanced way.

The current line-up, a who-is-who of Austrian live/electronic music/fluxus happening/plus-so-much-more artists (again):
Didi Bruckmayr (voc/vid; also founding member of Wipeout, Dr. Didi, Imago
Michael Strohmann (guit/bass/DSP/sequ/vid; member of Pest, Imago
Didi Kern (drums/perc; member of Wipeout, Bulbul, Pest
Aigner Siegmar (voc)
Alexander Jöchtl (mix/master; also member of Dr. Didi

Now coming to the more interesting part of this post: the stuff...

I deigned to compile a small catalog of Fuckhead's most famous and awesome pieces, including:
Die Einsamkeit
Ich bin traurig
And The Ego Flows
Brainpan Cauterizer
The Circumcision
The Clones
Ass In My Face
The Best
plus the previously unreleased Mozart-mash-up, Egypt.
Just for your convenience, part one and two.

Also, I was so bold as to assemble two of the most beautiful Wipeout tracks, namely
Der Zerrissene, and
My Simple Love,
too - right over here.
Besides, I would very warmly recommend you to get hands on their latest album, Black Light District Boys. Simply amazing.

Last but not least, some more links:

the very official Fuckhead site
Fuckhead @ Mego
and on SRA

Fuckhead videos on YouTube:
Life at Wasted, pt. 1
Life at Wasted, pt. 2

Wipeout @ Rhiz

Bruckmayr - Mrs. Big Love

Wipeout @ Myspace




Didi Bruckmayr
@ Myspace
and @

Michael Strohmann

Fadi Dorninger (former Fuckhead, now Wipeout member)
plus here
and ranting about Didi B. over there

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Random trash

This is what caught my eye the night I was riding back home from the BarCamp Vienna:

All along the Wienzeile (Naschmarkt), up to the Ring, masses of trash - mostly paper stuff - were blown over and around by a storm that came up that evening. No idea where all this crap came from, but it was most interesting to watch.

And then the other day, Michi twittered this:

and that:

but I arrived late, and this is actually all what was left:

Think I never saw a Billa demolition site before.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wanna go with me?

Within the last couple of weeks, I had some very interesting talks about relationships, and friendships, and even family, with a whole lot of people (though some of them had more to say than others, of course...).

Besides that, only recently an implausibly great many of couples I've known now for years broke up their relationship totally 'unexpectedly' - at least to their friends, that was, and mostly to one of the partners.

Some of the thoughts that came to my mind through this time made me look at life in a pretty different way and want to share my feelings about that kinda subject with others.

1. Relationships.
To me it seems, the main reason the 'classic' relationship (i.e. couple that aims to stick together until the end of all days) and, subsequently, marriage still do not forfeit popularity among the largest part of the world we live in, is simply because of (make-believe) practicability and convenience.
In most political systems, calling the institution of two-person relationships into question, would not only effect economy in probably unthinkable and maybe unbearable ways, but also most certainly lead to broad questioning the whole system; no hegemonial thinking country could encourage a mass shift towards autonomy in hindsight to relationships and lifestyle.
Therefore, the common belief in a dozen-years love attachment to one single person may be reconsidered, in favor of strategies in the way of open relationships maybe, or whatever else comes to mind.
Wikipedia: 'Many nonmonogamous terms are flexible in definition, because they are based on criteria such as 'relationship' or 'love' that are themselves variably defined... In addition, usage creates distinctions beyond the raw definitions of the words.' (Yeah, I know. Citing Wikipedia. Pretty bad, isn't it.)

2. Dependance.
Focusing on only one partner who makes like 45 per cent of your way of living and thinking - and worrying, too - looks like a pretty dependent or non-self-determined kind of living. I know compromises are massively important in life, and not to be thought of negatively at all.
But dependancy also manifests itself in the deep com-passion to the partner; which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but from time to time turns out to be the worst feeling in the world - since you couldn't do anything about it or get away from it the time you - and noone else than you - would want to.
Besides, 'time management' is a term that comes to my mind at this point. Because it is something that hardly ever turns out to work in a really democratic way in a two-person relationship - as so many other things wouldn't, too.
To be more than honest, I haven't figured out how to cope with this problem myself; though not stating myself a rather 'dependant' person, I fall for people - very rarely, but still - sometimes so badly I should better worry about that kind of issue. At least every couple of years, maybe.

3. Sex.
Now that's most definitely a topic I don't have to speechify about.
Sex simply is important. People how assure it's not knock me for a loop.

4. Jealousy.
Me, after being asked if I'd be bothered if my 'hypothetical' friend made out with another girl, honestly: 'I think it would bother me. But that doesn't mean I don't want him/her to.' If I'd feel jealous, or betrayed? 'Oh god, no, I wouldn't feel betrayed! And well, maybe not even jealous... I'm pretty much into the whole idea of open relationships. Would make things just sooo much easier to everyone! And as long as this means sex with other people, I'm totally fine with it. Or, you know, friendship. Just not like... another 'deeper' relationship.' So what makes it something deeper? 'I think it means, hanging out lots, and having that... umm... very butterfly-like happy feeling, and thinking of nobody else and stuff. But to me, I wouldn't say it has anything to do with more-than-once/before/after/whatever sex. But you know, that's the point where i can clearly see my whole theory totally lacks of a basis!'
Anyway, I think jealousy is the very main reason for so many relationships (of whatever kind) not to work out in the end. What is it everyone is afraid of? How could one live in a relationship expecting his/her partner - one states to love and only wish the best for - to think of oneself as such a perfect and ideal human being that actually all of his/her deepest wishes and desires could be fulfilled by only just being oneself, without providing any variety or alternatives?

5. Expectations.
People will most likely in any case of uncertainty start thinking of what the future could bring and therefore develope expectations, ranging from relatively 'little' and rather realistic, up to pretty excessive, hypothetical and dreamy prospects. And while I can clearly see the obvious 'pros' of imaginative thinking into the future as to mulling over what will become and how to react to it, maybe it is right that not only living up to someone else's expectations but also - first and foremost - making up one's own raises the possibility of disappointment tremendously.
To admit it, I shouldn't throw stones while sitting in a glass house myself - but I'm definitely (and sometimes probably even rather desperately) trying to work this point out.

6. Labeling.
As already stated before, developing expectations and therefore classifying things in one's head may lead to whole shitloads of problems. Living in today's culture and society, trying to fit things, people and situations into a ready-made box full of preconceived opinions seems to be more than common - since it comes in so very handy! Still, it wouldn't make much sense if examined more closely.
Anyway, people - when communicating with each other - are used to agree on something, like on codes as language, specific motions, and so on. If there weren't 'labels' to put on some sort of collective things that kinda 'belong' to more people than only themselves (as given in any friend-/relationship/family), I believe everyone involved would get totally stressed out and exhausted trying to find out what things are about... and hence maybe even more disappointed, since they couldn't just turn off any expectation or wishes or whatever, as long as there's no common believes or agreements deriving from something as such as a general term, for example. And as they would - or could - not talk about it (and therefore agree on a term), people would just be left alone with their dreams, wishes, or whatever.
This all sounds fairly confusing, I know - but it somehow turns out to be a vicious circle.
And maybe, time has just come to get away from all the old labels and think about new ones.

7. Ageing.
A very natural and understandable concern with not spending all your life in a monogamy/matrimonial relationship is the fear of being alone as one grows older and older. This may also be a main factor in deciding to have children.
Still one should be aware of the fact that feeling left alone only comes from inside, and that this could likely happen to people living in a family, too. I believe that at any age, friends are the most important factor to your feelings, and irreplaceable by any other social structure.
Concentrate on all those you like or love, and when living in a partnership, do never forget about them - like most folks happen to do.

Besides, no, I am not looking forward to getting married any time soon.
And no, I am not planning on having children. Which also implies - and implied - I wouldn't carry a child to term in any (accidental) case.

Also I don't want this post to sound depressing in any way, since I am very happy with that insight I got on (my) life. I do not want to discourage or even run down anybody for the way they choose to live their life.
Simply I want some more people to re-think about situations and relationships, and their expectations towards others.

Plus: I worked on this post for quite a while now (shame on me!), aiming to figure out the final version. As for now, I have to give in - not thinking that something like a 'final' thought on stuff like that could possibly ever exist. Guess I should call it a work in progress.

Last but not least I wanted to cite two very wonderful views in connection to all that crap I wrote - pointed out to me by someone I'd like to thank very much for all his frankness again and again.

First there was this sentence someone I am sorry not to know at all posted in his latest blog:
"If your life flashes before your eyes and you don't get a boner, you're doing it wrong."

And then, there was that image of a sign made by Tantek, saying:
"Your failed dating model is not our problem..."

All in all, pretty fantastic.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Villalog & Mäuse @ Rhiz

Just a short note on the Villalog / Mäuse show at Rhiz, Vienna on Jan. 24th

I didn't know Villalog (also to be found here; feat. B. Fleischmann on the drums) before, but I found they were pretty amazing. They just released their new CD 'Zwei' (two) under the Angelika Köhlermann/Hoanzl label, which you should definitely check out. It sounds like a toxic mix out of hypnotic electro-beats and melodic-psychedelic guitar tracks, underlined by ambient soundscapes from time to time, then again evolving in manic out-of-space-rock parts. Loved their "West Berlin" song!

But the reason for me to go to that show actually was the Mäuse performance - being their second gig after AGES!! (the first one just took place a couple of days ago...)

The line-up practically is a who-is-who of austrian sub-subversive music (plus non-music, too) culture; more precisely:
Tex Rubinowitz (vocals),
Gerhard Potuznik (guitar) - these two also running the Angelika Köhlermann label;
Philipp Quehenberger (keyboards), and
DD Kern (on the drums).

Yay for reunions - at least in like... umm... 5 % of the cases! ;)

All in all, the gig was pretty short, unfortunately - and Mäuse didn't play their greatest-of-all-times-hit (at least to me, that is), 'Il Pullover'.
Still, the show totally rocked.

Will upload the videos I took later on.
I promise!

Tex R. also did a very fine job on the DJing after the show - playing mostly 1960ies/early 70ies hits. Really freaked me out, in connection to these bands!
Since then I just can't get rid of this sweet tune I catched (and therefore have to share with you):

Barcamp Vienna 01/08

Just arrived at the WerkzeugH, where this January's Barcamp takes place.
Knew nobody involved, but people are super nice. Totally excited for today's talks, will report back for sure!

Now: coffee.

(schedule to be found here)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ear Ache

Some ear-educational links for today, focusing on swedish death to post metal:

Meshuggah - Psykisk Testbild (demo recording, 1989)
d/l from megaupload

Entombed - Wolverine Blues (1993)
d/l from zshare
or rapidshare

At the Gates
- Slaughter of the Soul (1995)
d/l from mediafire

Cult of Luna - The Beyond (2003)
d/l from fileden (one album, two files):
part 1
part 2

Plus, the only today featured band NOT being from Sweden (but from Atlanta, Georgia):
Mastodon - Blood Mountain (2006)
d/l from zshare
or rapidshare

Take care!

Monday, January 21, 2008

sound:frame 08

This friday, 18-01-08, the opening to the 2nd sound:frame festival (curated by Eva Fischer), dedicated to projection, sound and audio-visual culture, took place at the Künstlerhaus.
Until Feb. 20th, several locations all over Vienna will not only display various national and international artworks and projects, but there'll also be a line-up of performances, workshops and a conference, held every saturday.

Below there's a bunch of the pics I took at the exhibition (linking to the rest of them on my Flickr account), plus a viddy I edited most crappy in like no time...
Anyway: enjoy!

More about the sound:frame festival and associated projects can be found here:

Making ends meet

For the last six hours, I was sitting in my living room with my ex-fiancé, sorting out our record collection. Both we are addicted to LPs especially, both we wanted to have them all.

Naturally, this wouldn't work out quite as well as everyone hoped it would. It was our second attempt today, and this time, we finished.
We went through a whole lot of concessions and tried very hard to keep it all diplomatic and amicable and civilized, but still my heart is bleeding thinking of the end of a really great collection we built up together during the last years.
Besides that, I am totally thankful for all the time and effort Role put into this.

Somehow, this all feels pretty weird and final all of a sudden.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Pure Golden Love

Actually, I wanted to blog about some music and design stuff today - but the breaking news of the day (me getting a new absolutely special and generally awesome vintage single speed bike of course) totally overruled these intentions!! Lookie:

At the Radlager - Stavros is a genius. And incredibly fast with bikes.

Finally: My little beauty at Drea's place, waiting for our next ride tomorrow morning...

Single speed rocks. I think.

Did I already mention the term 'beauty'? ;)

Btw, my very special Pure Golden Love baby is a 1960ies Capo (Viennese) racer, but I had it customized. Chances you'll find anything alike in Vienna tend to zero.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Yay for photos!

Just uploaded a whole bunch of pics I took at the BOKU (University of Natural Resources and Applied Life Sciences, Vienna) the other day to Flickr...

Plus, obviously more important:
I met my friend Dodo at the Radlager Palazzo tonight, where we, while having an exquisite cool Club Mate ('You get used to it'), discussed some of our newest and most awesome project ideas - like the female-concentrated porn magazine project (current working title: Pornööö) we've just started to work on.
Further important projects that came to our feverish minds include the beauteous 'Active Morbid Emergence Night' bike project, or the yet unreasonably infamous but incredibly wise one-year-marriage project!

Atween, we took a short but fast ride on these exorbitantly beautiful bikes, me on my - hopefully - future one (it's single speed, no fixed gear though), built in Vienna in the early 1960ies - and yes, it's GOLDEN.
I absolutely love it:

Maybe there's a couple of things I might customize, though (at least the handlebar). Have to go back tomorrow for sure!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Not only the weather has decided to improve way beyond my expectations in terms of temperature rising - today was the very fist day I went outside without my huge thick winter gloves on! -, but also my mood is getting better and better because of the start of yet another most AWESOME concert season!

Upcoming shows and events in Vienna I'd recommend you warmly not to miss include the following:

21/01 Suzie cries for help w/ Kimera @ Chelsea
24/01 Villalog w/ Die Mäuse @ Rhiz
26/01 Barcamp Vienna @ WerkzeugH
31/01 Fuckhead @ Chelsea

07/02 Dimitrij w/ Killed by 9V Batteries @ Arena (3raum)
13/02 Bulbul w/ Maja Osojnik 'Horror', feat. Fritz Ostermayer @ Rhiz
21/02 Alec Empire @ Flex
24/02 Earth w/ Sir Richard Bishop @ Szene
25/02 Dismember w/ Hatesphere @ Arena (kleine Halle)

13/03 Dillinger Escape Plan w/ Poison the Well @ Arena
19/03 The Scarabeusdream w/ Jakuzi's Attempt @ Rhiz

16/04 Soap & Skin w/ Reflector @ Rhiz
18/04 Einstürzende Neubauten @ Arena
22/04 Isis @ Arena
26/04 Melvins @ Arena

24/05 Melt Banana w/ Jakuzi's Attempt @ Fluc

Guess I'll update this list within the next weeks and months when more dates will be fixed.

Now that's what I call a nice schedule! :)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Reign in Blood feat. on Wikipedia

Today's featured article on Wikipedia:

Californian trash metal band Slayer's 1986 released third studio album, Reign in Blood.

It's the album they did just before South of Heaven, which came out in 1988, and just as awesome i think. Featuring their well-known - and more than once used for movie soundtracks - song Angel of Death, the discussions about the band sympathizing with Nazi and racist issues leading to much controversy started from thereon. Because of these issues, Def Jam's distributor Columbia Records refused to release the album, and it therefore got distributed by Geffen Records; however, it never appeared on Geffen's official release schedule.

After the tours following the release of Reign in Blood, drummer Dave Lombardo left the band (but will return ten years after, for their album Christ Illusion); in the meantime, he played with several other artists, including Mike Patton with Fantomas (the probably most awesome music project EVER), or Apocalyptica on their Reflections album.

Me likez jabbering bout featured articles. ;)

Monday, January 14, 2008

Junk City

If you follow Boing Boing or io9, you may have already read about Chu Enoki's RPM-1200, also referred to as the Junk City (actually i think it was featured in several blogs by now):

(photograph by Keizo Kioku)

Referring to his own site, japanese sculptor Enoki started to build that beautiful, crescent-shaped, shiny cityscape out of old, highly polished metal drill bits, mashine parts, junk and garbage - what other people may call it -, already back in 2005.

The giant diorama is over 11 feet tall and measures 15 feet in diameter, and is incredibly detailed.
It is one of his newest installations to be on display, and to me, one of his absolutely most impressive ones (though I'm pretty much into all of his other artworks, too)!

(photograph by Yuto Hirakakiuchi)

For an exhibition in Tokyo, Japan Enoki positioned the RPM-1200 in a pitch black room with the lights slowly turning off and on over the city, casting highly realistic shadows of futuristic skyscrapers.

Often categorized as avant-garde, Chu Enoki seems to follow his very own path to art and making.

Go have a look:

just... weird

This very minute my life feels so weird and chaotic to me. Maybe that's for a yet secret reason, maybe it's just a general overflow of awesomeness, maybe it's because of all these changes I'm going through right now.
And still, I'm pretty happy with it.

I cannot put into words how much I'm looking forward to all the travelling I plan on this year - not only including visiting places around Europe (especially Berlin, of course) again, but also I'll be heading over to the US for the first time in my life.
Which is gonna be pretty awesome, I think!

Also, I'm looking forward to meet a bunch of incredibly nice people I had the chance to get to know within the last weeks and months... some of whom changed my life in ways I had never thought could happen before.

Just as I posted *somewhere* else, by the first 30 seconds of 2008, I had that feeling this year will become a great one (very special hugs to tbsckas, who made me blush not only once)!

I'm totally excited.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Another day, another blog.

Now this hopefully will be the very last time I worry about social stripteasing on the internet and splitting up my mind over 31 (in words: thirty-one!) different websites I forget about checking and updating all the time.
Finally, the point has come where I cannot even remember the simpliest passwords I used.
I don't want my mind to be in a race just to make sure I didn't forget about... some 72 dpi stuff (and the other people being addicted to it)!

From now on, please keep this blog in mind - since this will be the only post of its kind here:
I'm gonna place the most important links to the most 'important' sites I use for social networking and alike and wherefrom, ever from now on, I'm just gonna link to this brandnew blog of mine, right at the bottom, at your disposal. (Until I'm finally finished with my own site, that is. Which probably may take me another year, looking back on how little I managed to work on it in 2007.)
Privacy matters, all well and good. But I really need some rest from all that Myspace/Facebook/StudiVZ/Suicidegirls messaging/blogging/commenting insanity.

So go ahead and subscribe to this blog instead all of that other crap of mine.
Thank's for your kindest understanding.

Flickr: Right at the moment, this is my very favourite kind of a 'blog': less words, more fun. I love it.

Suicidegirls: Somehow something in between addiction and - strangely - work to me. Plus totally hot nakedness, of course! Actually, I'm not going to link or move my SG blog over here entirely, but just copy & paste some of the stuff I write. Maybe.

Myspace: Well, you know... I'm sure you know what I mean.
So no more blogging on there.

Facebook: Right. What the heck am I doing right now, right there? Barely used, FB feels like a millstone round my neck.

StudiVZ: Same thing, actually - if only there wasn't my very best friend dRea who forced me into it, somehow ;)

Iqons: Networking for fashionistas & co. That blurb is the only thing that will stay over there, too. Even to ppl who may've only met me once or twice, it's pretty obvious I'm completely into music. I fall for gorgeous, nice, rare records again and again. Thus, no wonder I got a account - pretty weird though, I always forget turning it on or logging in.
Which reminds me again of the fact I haven't posted about music or concerts for weeks; which feels like ages to me. Brrr. Links, links, and links again. Actually I've started a second and third one for the agency, and for the University of Applied Arts when I used to work for them (copro & computerstudio)...
Will let you know about any spectacular updates on this blog, too.

Twitter: Blogging in only 140 characters per post. Pretty awesome, I gotta admit. Unfortunately, not many spread the word around mid-Europe yet.

Skype: This may be the app I use second most (right after Entourage for mails)...
If you don't feel like staying in contact via commenting on here, I pretty much advise you to skype me instead. Seriously, I can't stand these Msp/StudiVZ/whatthefuck msges any longer.

AIM: Hardly ever use it, but still there's a couple of ppl who haven't yet given in and got a Skype account. Gosh!